Moving Forward

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Romans 7:15

Have you ever felt these verses deep within yourself? I woke up this morning with this verse deep within my heart; I have a choice to choose life or death, God gives us a choice and calls us to choose Life (Deuteronomy 30:19) but so often I choose to go back to sin. I am reminded that no matter how far I have come I have so much farther to go.  I find that each day I need to be reminded of what I already have, for God to reveal more of Himself to me. I am comforted by the scriptures that sink deep into my heart for moments like these, verses like Romans 8:1-2 which remind me that there is therefore now no condemnation for me because I am in Him and He has overcome sin and death. I know that God wants to show me His love and if I continue to seek Him I will find Him if I seek Him with my whole heart! (Jeremiah 29:13)

So how can my heart which so often chooses the wrong way seek God with its entirety? Will it ever even be remotely possible? Should I hope for this or give up on it? Galatians 5:1 tells me that it is for freedom that Christ has set me free and I am to stand firm and not submit again to the yoke of slavery which sin ties me to. For so long I thought that was the end of the teaching, just don’t do it anymore, just turn from your sinful ways and walk in righteousness but what I found was I kept falling back into it. It’s easy to fall back when there isn't a complete teaching; you need the rest of the information, which is that we will make wrong choices and we do need to choose life and not go back into sin but the power to overcome sin and death, the ability to find freedom is only in Christ not in us.  The great thing is that because of our relationship with Him we now have a third of the Trinity living within us and that power is available to us. Ephesians 3:20 says God is able to do far more than all we ask or think according to the power at work within us, which is the Holy Spirit.

I mess up, I fall, I choose death where I should choose life but I have hope because of the power which is available to and at work within me.  I can only move forward without condemning myself and continuing to seek God because I know what His word says, I know truth and I know there is a power at work within me that is transforming me. Each day I can live in victory and on the days I don’t the grief doesn't have to overtake me.

So as I move forward and think of the truth laid before me in scripture I can hold onto the promises of God and know with full assurance that nothing I have done or will do changes Him, His love for me, or His truth. Though I may have woken up to a verse reminding me of how far I am from where I need to be I move forward through my day focusing on the truth of who God is and that I can trust His word and His promises.

“God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” Numbers 23:19 

Transcendent Life

I have been  thinking lately about how others would describe me, what words would they use? would they talk of my character? would they call me humble? would they say that I love well? reflect Christ well?? would they say that I am the real deal, completely genuine and that there is a glow that can only be described as God in me?

I ask myself these questions not because I think others would describe me that way but because those are some of the ways I desperately want them to.  I want to be someone who others can count on to love them well and always know that I will do my best to be Christ to them.  To be honest I feel so far from this most of the time but I do have hope that with more time spent with the One that I hope to reflect and getting to know His character more it will be a natural transition from who I am now to who HE ALWAYS IS!!  I am learning not to go about trying to change myself with my own strength because even though my intentions may be good I do not have what it takes to make it happen or to make sure it lasts.  

For about a year I have had this idea of transcendent beauty. That is what I ultimately want to be, a woman of grace and love who glows from being in the presence of God and is truly beautiful on the inside and on the outside.  Transcendent beauty to me means that as we age, wrinkle, and well let's be honest....things start to sag, that our beauty actually increases exponentially!! You may have met women like this in your life, they are the usually the ones with a head full of snow white hair, face full of wrinkles a lot of which are from years of joyous smiles and hearty laughs, their words sometimes are few but they pack a punch with the wisdom and truth that they bring. I want to be a woman like that! Who says I have to wait until I'm old?!? I know that wisdom comes with age but what if I am a younger woman who seeks God and seeks His beauty with such passion that I can be what those ladies are only now? or at least soon? What if I live my life with such passionate abandon and such intentional focus on being like Christ that He is able to bring me to that place in my 20's or 30's? How much more could I do for Him if that were the case? How many more people could I impact for the Kingdom if this were true of me?

I actually think that before I am married is the best time to start.  A lot of wonderfully wise older woman  have always said to me "I'm so glad you're learning this now because it took me so much longer!" I believe that if younger women start off with this as their focus it could lead to not only better friendships and relationships with family but a better marriage.  The great thing about this is that no matter where someone is at or what age they are it's never to late to begin making this a goal!

I want to be part of a generation that has a different set of goals. I want us to focus on if we are truly being Christ to others and to find our beauty as well as our worth in something that transcends time and especially the norm.

For me, this is now where I'm headed because I want a life that goes beyond all that I have ever known. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20 & 21